is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
