She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
