I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
