my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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