i permit you to call me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
