I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
