Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
