There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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