I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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