He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
