oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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