I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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