Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
