Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
