You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
