and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
honey bunches of taint.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize