He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why do cheetos always look like penises
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
