My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
