if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
