While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
