This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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