Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
