I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
