i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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