I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The air was thick with penises
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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