i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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