I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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