let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
