Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
