i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
