So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
