what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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