We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
