even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
