I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize