This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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