They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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