the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
