You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
