dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
