Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
