Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
