My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
