Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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