im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize