she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
