I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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