you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
