Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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