This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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