PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
