she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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