3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
