dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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