I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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