I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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