Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
