im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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