the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A+ Viking dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
