Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
