we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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