Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
