Me too!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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