I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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